This Decade Sucked

“Though the 2010s may belong to Susan Boyle and Lady Gaga, the 2000s belonged to Eminem, at least in the United States. The irreverent, newly sober rapper has been named America’s bestselling act of the last 10 years.

In the end, it was a battle between Slim Shady and the Beatles. Though the Fab Four’s greatest hits compilation, One, was the decade’s bestselling record, Eminem had two albums in the top 10 – 2000’s The Marshall Mathers LP at No 4 and 2002’s The Eminem Show at No 5. Between these and his other releases, Eminem has sold about 32.2m albums since Y2K – compared with the mop-tops’ meagre 30m, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

Eminem was the only act to have two albums in the decade’s top 10. The other heavy hitters include Justin Timberlake’s former boy-band, ‘NSync, Britney Spears, R&B singer Usher, rockers Linkin Park and Creed, and the debut by chanteuse Norah Jones.

Strangely, few of these acts dominanted American radio. Instead, the decade’s most-broadcast tunes were mostly grim, gravely modern rock songs. Nickelback’s How You Remind Me took the top spot, with 1.2m spins since 2001, while acts such as Lifehouse and Three Doors Down were runners-up.

More than anywhere else, the impact of the internet can be seen on the singles charts, filled with tracks from the last three years. While sales of CD singles dwindled in the early 2000s, the success of digital services like iTunes led to a new boom. Low, released by rapper Flo Rida in 2007, was the decade’s most successful digital song, selling 5.2m copies. Lady Gaga, Jason Mraz, the Black Eyed Peas and Soulja Boy all appear in the top 10 – with Coldplay’s Viva La Vida poking its head in at No 8.

The top-selling albums of the decade in the US, according to Nielsen SoundScan:

1. The Beatles – 1,11,499,000 
2. ‘NSync, No Strings Attached – 11,112,000 
3. Norah Jones, Come Away With Me – 10, 546,000 
4. Eminem, The Marshall Mathers LP – 10,204,000 
5. Eminem, The Eminem Show – 9,799,000 
6. Usher, Confessions – 9,712,000 
7. Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory – 9,663,000 
8. Creed, Human Clay – 9,491,000
9. Britney Spears, Oops! … I Did It Again – 9,185,000 
10. Nelly, Country Grammar – 8,461,000”

-Billboard

This decade sucked.

Anyways, my main beef: the label of “indie” genre music. After time, the internet came along and became extremely popular for bands to promote themselves. Blogs and other websites would check these bands out, since most of them were recording at home or small studios and uploading their music to such web pages as Myspace.com. These bands were independent, but started to be eaten up by critics who had stumbled upon them. So long were the days of word of mouth; the internet took the world by storm and sharing ideas, music, and tons of other things became as easy as the click of a button.

Certain bands were received so well that they were picked up and signed by major labels, yet are still considered indie artists. Well here we go. Isn’t the whole idea of an indie artist the fact that they’re producing things independently? A band that is helped by a label isn’t independent, in fact, they’re very dependant. At some point, the term “indie” became less about production and more about genre. Bands labeled “indie” range so far apart in terms of style and production that there shouldn’t really be an umbrella term for them. You can’t group a band that uses synthesizers and growls in the same genre with bands that use lifeless female vocals and tangy guitars. Yet, for some reason, they are.

Arcade Fire, whose popular song “Wake Up” was heard across the country in the ads for Spike Jonze’s “Where the Wild Things Are,” started out as an independent band, releasing their first EP by themselves. Soon enough, they were picked up by Merge Records (Spoon, Conor Oberst) and supported by them. Eventually their music was brought to the ears of David Bowie, who played with them during a televised concert in 2005. Although they’re still considered “indie” music, they aren’t that independent and rely heavily on the label for production costs and distribution.

So, since indie music no longer refers to the way original indie artists produced and distributed their music, is it really that appropriate to refer to such a huge range of artists as “indie,” whether they still are independent or dependent of labels? I mean, I would still consider bands that have done everything themselves as “indie” bands, but it’s hard to see why bands on major labels such as Sony (The Ting Tings) can still be labeled as indie bands. I heard “That’s Not My Name” on radio stations all the time, and saw the video on MTV countless times. Sure, they might have started out as an “indie” band, but they’ve turned into a mainstream pop band, and should be relabeled as such.

Stop labeling things that aren’t independent as “indie” because it just doesn’t make much sense.

Oracular Spectacular was released on Columbia/Sony. This is not an independant record.

Their EP Time to Pretend was an independant release, but this was before they were signed. Once they were signed, for some reason, they were still considered independant, or ‘indie.’

I have nothing bad to say about the Big mouth Billy Bass. Because my last name is Fish! How could I not own one? The original version sang lines from hit songs Take me to the River and Don’t Worry Be Happy. Although why would a dead fish on a plaque have any reason to sing? What a shitty life that would be.

Spin offs included a Rainbow Trout, a Lobster, a Great White Shark, and a fish skeleton that sank Bad to the Bone.

Where are they now? On a shelf collecting dust.

Redemption point? Does it need one? It’s so awesome!

The XFL was supposed to be a tougher more ‘XTREME; version of football where no fair catches were allowed. Created by WWE founder Vince McMahon, the ‘XTREME’ Football league took place during the NFL off season and mixed the sport of football with ‘XTREME’ wresting action, but it fucking sucked.

Teams in the XFL were:

The Orlando Rage—because nothing says rage like a bunch of old people waiting to die

The Chicago Enforcers—self explanatory

The New York/ New Jersey Hitmen—Because New York isn’t trashy enough without New Jersey

The Birmingham Thunderbolts—to go with the White Lightning

The Los Angeles Xtreme—no comment.

The San Fransisco Demons—should be the ‘San Fransisco Milkmen’

The Memphis ‘Maniax’—Are they fucking retarded?

The Las Vegas Outlaws—Wow! They’re outlawed from Vegas? That’s so bad ass!

Where are they now? ‘Yo Murphy’ played for the Rams in Bowl XXXVI… and lost to the Patriots.

Rod Smart (aka He Hate Me) played for the Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII… and lost to the Patriots

Redemption Point? It ended after one season.

Another annoying fad. Jared the Subway guy. Who honestly believes that he lost all that weight just by eating subway every day? Sure there are healthy options but the majority of Subway food is just as bad as any fast food place. Also, eating out every day makes for a pretty expensive diet. I can’t stand Jared and his smug face holding up his giant pants and giving hope to those that want to lose weight that all they have to do is eat at Subway. I hope he gained all the weight back.

What’s he doing today? He divorced his wife in 2007 and appeared in guest spot this year on a CBS show called “I Get That A Lot.” (I’ve never heard of it either)

Redemption point: “I went on the Subway diet. Just like Jared”—Fat Bastard

Welcome to ‘This Decade Sucked,’ and welcome to the first post. First, we’re going to introduce ourselves. We’re both editors of our college newspaper, The Suffolk Journal, which is the paper for Suffolk University. Our university is a medium sized school located in the middle of Boston’s historic “Beacon Hill,” a neighborhood overrun by rich families, and the drunk college students who annoy them nightly. Our school was recently called the “Boston equivilent to NYU,” which is, umm. Okay.

Anyways, above is the first fad we would like to talk about — William Hung. American Idol, one of the other annoying fads of this decade, held auditions during its third season, and who better to show on network TV to the entire nation but — an Asian man with a bad accent and speech impediment. We know he can’t sing, so why humiliate the guy on national TV? I don’t get why he would even agree to it. We feel bad because his friends must have told him to try out as a joke, and he probably thought he was a pretty good singer.

The day after his performance, the world was laughing at him. Soon enough, he received a deal with a record label, and ‘Inspiration’ was made. I feel like he let himself be humiliated for the amount of money the album got.

This album sucks. Like the audition, listeners will be able to hear such ‘great musical covers’ of songs such as Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs”.

The album was a hit. This was his peak.

What’s he doing today? Who knows. Who cares.

Redemption point? Appearing on Arrested Development for “Mock Trial with J. Reinhold!”